When listening, the fIrst thing a manager should do is to determine the level of listening she needs to achieve.

his own frame of reference. The empathetic listener tries to get inside the other's thoughts and feelings. The listener expresses empathy when he verbally and non-verbally communicates such messages as "I follow you," "I'm with you,"or "I understand."

The empathetic level of listening is not easy to achieve because we naturally tend to advise, tell, agree, or disagree based on our own point of view. It is well worth the effort to become an empathetic listener, however. A speaker who sees that a manager is really trying to understand her meaning will trust the manager and be more willing to talk and explore problems. Empathetic listening can be such a powerful form of listening that, even when it is only partially attained, the mere attempt can be enough to open up communication.
When listening, the fIrst thing a manager should do is to determine the level of listening she needs to achieve. She can accomplish this by establishing a "listening goal," a specifIc statement of the purpose for listening. In the give-and-take of most communications, the need to adjust one's listening goal arises as the interchange develops. Conversations frequently stan with talk about the weather or other topics unrelated to the purpose of the conversation. For example, what may have stated out as a casual conversation with the general listening goal of getting suggestions for the next office social gathering may develop into a serious discussion on possible strategies for improving office performance. Knowing the listening goal permits one to adjust the strategy to the level of listening.
The act of wliting out the listening goal is valuable: it forces the listener to analyze the purpose of the listening